kiinda stupiid

2011-03-18T09:35:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, I really admire the determination I have during trainings. Was it because I have been running since young, even I can't reason it out with myself why I can actually endure and complete those tiring and hardcore trainings all these while. Reflecting back about them and even after completion of trainings, I wonder aloud WOW! This is something I'm proud of myself. Give yourself a pat on the shoulder, Val.

2011-01-13T05:11:00.001-08:00

it's been a long time since i wrote here,
i really do hope i would continue this.
somehow.
i should.

wondering how i actually managed to pen down those feelings i had on certain events,
reading them really made me seem like i'm going through all those again.
but this time, i won't be upset nor disappointed.
seems to have gotten over all these,
with the help of my lovable 310& 410 classmates.
but anyhow my heart still aches.
for things never that were able to be mended back again.
haha, how contradictory i may be.

but i feel relieved.
very very relieved.

2010-06-06T07:22:00.000-07:00

high time to change my skin.
i spotted a friend that has the same one as me. whooch.

do check out my tumblr.
i post pictures etc there- it's easier to maintain that site that way.
and i type here when i want to ;D

i have just been back from london& paris.
it's really a source for inspirations and ideas.
i'm falling in love with brancusi and sculptures.
it's just surreal to be there and back here now.
i don't seem to have travelled there, though in reality i did.
the museums were of course, fascinating.
with mega paintings like the Coronation of Napoleon
and we saw wonders like the awesomely-detailed Marriage of Alnofini or sketchy ones like Monet's, Turner's! and many many more
and i saw Mona Lisa, guarded with like 4 guards, placed behind glass and from a distance of about 20metres i suppose.

i got to learn about many new artists, seen their works first-hand and it was just great.
learnt about the importance of conserving the artworks as well.
that's a major point to learn.

it's sad to not see those beautiful architecture here.
it's sad to not have the cooling weather here.
it's sad to not have sunset at 10pm everyday.
but i love to return to my friends, family and home here.

VALERIE.

check out my tumblr here:

http://oneblanksheet.tumblr.com

2010-02-08T02:58:00.000-08:00

SIMPLE THINGS CAN BRING SIMPLE SMILES.
LIFE HAS SO MANY SMALL PLEASURES THAT CAN ACCUMULATE TO FORM A GIANT ONE.

SO, SMILE ;D

MY LIFE GRAPH IS A SMILEY ONE - POSITIVE X^2
THATS WHY THERE'S ONLY A MINIMUM VALUE,
WHICH MEANS THAT THERE'S ONLY A MINIMUM AMT OF HAPPINESS, NOT MAXIMUM!
HAHA.

V.

2010-02-06T19:59:00.000-08:00

YEST WAS FUN!

I'M GLAD...

I'M GLAD I FINISHED THE RACE,

THOUGH THE WHITE BUILDING SEEMED SO FAR AWAY.

I'M GLAD I MADE IT TO THE VERY END,

EVEN WHEN I THOUGHT I'D DIE.

I'M GLAD I SAW THE WRONG MARK,

AND SPRINTED LONGER THAN I THOUGHT I COULD.

I'M GLAD MY LEG DIDN'T ACHE AFT THE RACE,

THAT MEANT I COULD DO MUCH BETTER THAN THIS.

I'M GLAD THIS WAS SUCH AN AWESOME AND FUN RACE,

AND WE'LL BE JOINING MORE OF SUCH SOON.

I'M GLAD WE ALL GOT MEDALS,

AND SOME EVEN HAD GOODIES TO BRING BACK HOME.

I'M GLAD...

"...WHOO!..." ;D

2010-01-28T06:39:00.000-08:00

IM GLAD.
THANK YOU.
I'LL SEE.

2010-01-28T06:34:00.001-08:00

HAHA,
I HAD JUST ANOTHER GREAT DAY.
I FELT SO TIRED DURING CURRICULUM TIME.
I FEEL SO MUCH MORE ENERGETIC AFTER TRAINING.
ESPECIALLY WHEN I FELT THAT MY LEGS WERE TIRED,
FOR EVEN A WHILE.
HAHA.

HAVEN'T HAD THAT FEELING FOR SUCH A LONG TIME.
BUT I THINK I SHOULD HAVE PUSHED MORE THOUGH.
I STILL HAD ENERGY. BLEH.
I CAN'T CONTROL.
):

V.

2010-01-12T06:18:00.000-08:00

valerie, you just need to keep smiling.
one day, everything would just turn out fine.

:D

2010-01-12T06:09:00.000-08:00

everything had changed so quickly,
i didn't even have time to react to all that's happening.
what's wrong with me today?
I'm starting to feel the uneasiness which i really dislike a lot.
Why can't my heart just stop making me feel so disturbed.
It's poppin' right out of me.
LIKE THEN, OH THEN.

i realised i was the only one remaining status quo.
people change, things change, even weather changes,
so why do i often feel this way?
like i am being detached forcefully away from the body.
the one i'm so familiar with.

when i thought that friendships would stay just the same.

people are sensitive to their surroundings,
so why?

memories and illusions,
i keep getting them mixed up
for the wrong wrong reasons.
i did it again today.

2009-12-09T01:51:00.000-08:00

now, i see what's waiting there for me.
everyday is like a new beginning,
waiting for me, the explorer to venture through.

notebooks are filled with constant writings,
and my dreams are filled with much more excitement.
my thoughts are filled with the stuff i've always wanted to learn,
and my brains are expanding in space, like what hotmail does.

Conclusions ought to be made after much consideration, and ponder.
And i wish mine was a right one, which i'll hang on,
with a happy smile and a brightened heart.

shining my life, my soul and myself.

SHINE, valerie :D

2009-11-28T04:01:00.000-08:00

had aep cip today.
was tired, but happy.
got to know really pleasant and nice seniors.
got to see the joyful and delighted faces of the residents.
got to converse with the friendly aunties whom were wuber cute.
got to talk with friends on the bus to and fro.
got to know teachers/aep/art better.
what a wonderful day.

i guess i get happy/sad really easily, do i?

2009-11-23T03:56:00.001-08:00

I still hate it whenever I thought I have let go of everything
And that everything seems so wonderful now as compared to before
Yet they still seems to replay itself in my mind
And make me so upset.
I have moved on, I thought.
But some things, I realize, perhaps.
It was all bluff on my own.
It still aches so badly, worse than before.
Let me go, let me be free like I thought I was.
You said I belong there, but why can’t I feel it?
Perhaps it was just, you that felt so.
I relooked back as you said, but well, I have long already been erased.
I moved on, but left my heart behind.
But my leaving you guys didn't seem to mind.

Did I ever belong there?
I never did, and never will.
I almost cried, again. But i didn't this time.
I'm just too experienced for another like this. to happen once again.

2009-10-06T06:19:00.001-07:00

i was trying to check on the artworks of Salvador Dali on google images.

and i found out that Singapore has his artwork- sculpture!

It's titled "Homage to Newton" at the UOB Plaza, near Boat Quay.

AND, Salvador Dali also designed the logo for the lollipops, Chupa Chups!

We ought to go check out the sculpture after our EOYS. Haha (:

2009-09-16T02:47:00.000-07:00

I want to be happy to live
-and live to be happy.
well, it aint that easy. but i'll try and somehow make it work.

A 觉得自己之前太过于执著，所以不知道一直在身边的好。现在终于放弃，放下了，她终于感觉到了生活中的平凡与快乐。原来事情是那么的容易耶，她心想。之前，心胸那么的宽小，仿佛永远都踏不出那阴暗的角落头。现在放下了，才发现周遭的好，周遭的花草树木。原来，解药是去放下，是要宽容，是要珍惜一切一切，而不是只存于我那渺小的世界。感谢上帝，让我自由！

2009-08-15T05:32:00.000-07:00

i realised there are some things I can't anticipate too much about in life.
that includes studies, friendships, ccas, and many more.
there's so much on my list,
i don't know what more I can anticipate for.
perhaps, you'll think that i'm classifying too many things into that narrow lil' idea of mine.
but, there's so many things that I am so disappointed about.
so many things I initially thought,
"wow, thanks god. i guess i'm gonna have a wonderful day ahead."
But ahah, pop! my fantasy's gone. what the-.
it's like why i'm I going through all this.
hey, is it me or something?

i still think i'm always the spare tyre of others.
oh, like the song mrsheng went through, on the 'I'm so Ordinary'.
I'm like the spare old shoe, without her, then will I be remembered.
Sigh, sigh, sigh.

am i getting slightly emo?
ahaha. i don't know.
and hey guys, thankyou.
i see my tagboard with something to see already.
thankyou.
(:

and guess what, i drew 3 pictures, which i'm satisfied with in this 2 days!
happy. happy.
but i think my drawings are slightly to the emo side.
so, erm, is that a good thing?
show you guys other day :D
they're really emo. but then, i can't draw very well lah.
ahahah.
i slacked today.O.O
i cannot stand myself eh, ...
bang! valerie, go die again.

2009-08-15T05:26:00.000-07:00

guess what?
i drew two pictures in my new A5 sketchbook.
im super wuber happy (:
hahah.

i bought many sketchbooks over time,
and never quite started doing anything in them.
well, now i will.
i've got a goal, an aim, and something i want to acheive and obtain.
so, jiayou!
i'll be carrying them where ever i go.
yupp, ... i hope.

i think i prefer the time when the spammers were present.
at least there's something to see on my tagboard...
now's there's really nothing left to see D:

2009-08-14T04:00:00.000-07:00

i want a polaroid.
i want a dianaf+ fish eye lens.

i want. i want.
...i think im wanting too much.

valerie, stop daydreaming.
bang! go die.

2009-08-13T04:13:00.000-07:00

i want to change skin!
but eh, im too lazy to do so.
perhaps, soon?
(;

2009-08-08T01:53:00.000-07:00

ohkay promise, last post for the day.
hey, im using the laptop now, and i do see the font bar here.
what's with blogger?

anyway,
i just went to a friend's blog.
a close friend during primary school.
and yesterday, the four of us spoke of her at the fastfood rest.
honestly, i feel heartaches again.
i always say that i didn't quite care if she comes a not, but actually i do.
some part of me consists of her memories and i still keep things we did together.
its saddening.

what's become of her? i don't know.
i heard from..., she's a changed person.
her character, her friends, even her outer appearance.
honestly, i don't quite care about her changes, but only one.
is she still the person i know?
sometimes, when people do grow, things would definitely change somehow.
even gen said im more talkative now.
but, some part of you remains the same,
and i wonder if that part of her, where she's the nice and friendly one i know of, remains.

i wonder, if i do say happy birthday, would she care?
i wonder, if i do draw a card for her, would she chuck it somewhere?
i wonder, if i do see her on the streets one day, would she wave and say hello?
i wonder, if i do still see the sincere smile on her face, dedicated for me?
i wonder, i wonder.

like what i just said,
"with no anticipations, there wouldn't be disappointments"
i had many anticipations, right from the start.
but they were all dashed, one by one...as time goes along.
am i still hopeful of her? indeed, i am.
but some part of me just makes me naturally doubt her. and i do hate myself for that.
for a friendship so long, simply within months, they're gone.
i feel sad, sad, sad.
i feel like tearing, but life goes on.
and thus, i won't.

and i believe,
one day, she'll realise that we were always there for her.
when she weren't there for us.

- im ain't emo, nor angry. get it right guys.
just sad. perhaps disappointed too.
for such a pathetic ending for a long friendship.

valerie.

2009-08-08T01:34:00.000-07:00

"THE MALAYAN RAILWAY, here I come!"
- valerie.

i indeed, have many regrets.
but im hoping, i'll fill them up one day. no matter how long it will take.

2009-08-08T01:11:00.000-07:00

blocks are officially over.
yesterday was the national day celebs.
it was awesome. hah.
i felt really enthusiastic yesterday.
especially with all those face and body painting,
cum the national day songs.

hahah.i had my face and arms painted. so fun.
but, im not that daring like chlo, to stay like that till 1plus with those still on.
i wanted to attach a picture but i think blogger's spoilt, i don't see the attach button.
there are so many pictures i want to attach, but sigh.

yesterday, i went out- gathering.
it was again, boring and stoning.
sigh.sigh.sigh.
but i think i was slightly more disappointed yesterday.
it was...terrible?
seeing all the stoners like that.
and the non- looking so gloomy.
how can we still "us" if gatherings are always like that.
i don't know...
it breaks my heart. it was devastating.
we tried so hard, hoping that everyone would cooperate with us.
i guess, that wasn't so easy after all.
i read my last post, on that i won't give up trying.
sigh. i really don't know if its possible.
sometimes, i really want to just scream out and burst to tears.
but i know i can't.

well,
it's tough trying to understand each another.
it's tough trying to get everyone to be HIGH.
it's tough trying to organise the best gathering ever.
it's tough trying to get everyone to join in.
everything's tough.

but then, yesterday, when i was isolating myself in the train.
i thought about something; if these bunch of people didn't really mean to come, they wouldn't even spend time coming to stone with us. together.
unless..., they don't want to go home? but, they could possibly go out with other people, right?

haha, perhaps, i am using excuses to make myself feel better.
but, i'll jiayou.

"JIAYOU, VALERIE!"

life seems much more complicated when dealing with people, relationships and etc.
am i more simple, more simple-minded?
someone told me that its alright being the first but never be the latter.
i remember that, pal.

hey, i can't change the font of my post.and the colour.
is blogger malfunctioning?
i wonder.

im malfunctioning too.
im turing into a stone too.
and guess what, my cell's front wallpaper name is "metal heart-."
i was inspired by my fellow tablemate, wenjia. haha.
when she said,in chinese, "我的心是用铁做的。"

this will be my new aim.
with no anticipations, there won't be any disappointments.
and i'll never need to bleed again.
(:

valerie.
i sound emo, but im not.
im just disappointed.somehow.

with my laptop, i can upload pictures!

my arms look like this.

haha.

i saw coach yesterday at peihwa.
and guess what he told me?

he said i was indeed, a singaporean.

haha (:

singing sessions, at NY!

aren't they cute?

I'm in in this picture, i was the photographer.

haha

2009-06-04T05:34:00.000-07:00

this week has been really fun, so i've decided to tell you guys all about it.

monday 1june
i wasn't feeling well, so i stayed at home. Forgo-ed training.
After simply a day, my stamina fell like xiao(Shinyun ought to be slapping me while reading this)
Then, yx/ jy/ sy came over to my place for a supposedly one hour gathering
to check out my place and visit me since i was a patient then.
this gathering lasted for like 3hours or so O.o'''

we had a heart-to-heart talk.
i wonder if that helped us in the process in getting to know each other better.
i really don't know. i just thought it seemed like a agitating round of debate (btw trackers).
perhaps, it might be at a wrong time, wrong moment, or wrong place.
i wonder. but i guess we'r all back at square one again.
and that's good. at least, everything remains the same.

tuesday 2june
class gathering.
left house at like 10:15am to meet yingxuan at the busstop- headed for westmall.
guess what, we reached westmall at like 10:4oam and no one else reached yet.

so we roamed, and roamed, and roamed. till yixian/ jieying came.
then we stoned, and stoned, and stoned. till clement came.
then we waited, and waited, and waited. till seanseoh came.
then we talked, and talked, and talked. till shawntan came. (that was btw the girls)
and headed for lot1.

there were MANY awkward pauses, and silent waiting for someone to voice out.
and eventually, we ate together.
lunch wasn't quite good, with silence, here and there.
"this gathering may just screw up", both yingxuan and i thought.
soon, ellen/ prisca/ shiyun/ shuinhern came.

next destination, here we come.
warren country club.
soon, genevieve/ hsiuyee/ elizabelle/ joan came.
played bowling and then billiard (i don't know how to play the latter).
the activities were fun, for we laughed, encouraged, and cheered each other.
i thought, perhaps everything may not be too bad.
but soon, the awkwardness came back. and we decided to eat first. at lot1.
long johns silver. the guys suggested pizza.
and i thought, good. at least we won't have to split up while eating and can eat from the same pizza, but the girls didn't think so. they laughed at my idea. (they thought i was joking O.o''')
after dinner, many left.

honestly, i had a severe blankout.
i didn't know what to do, there and then.
i wanted everyone to bond together. but that's tough, real tough.
"Bonding is a natural thing", shuinhern said.
that was sad, piercing though my heart, but i guess he's right. i just couldn't accept that fact.

guess what, seanseoh managed to persuade shawntan to let us go his place.
it was boring at the front, with the old-time game, murderer, and the winking.
but laughter was non-stop, ohkay, mayb i exaggerated but it was not too bad (:
and the ending was fun, poison ball. though the smacks were terribly painful.
i guess we made the wrong choice by playing murderer in the first place.
and i left happy, but also feeling regretful for the day.

- upset over myself for not being able to make everyone talk
- regretted not planning a better gathering (too much silent waiting)
- regretted not playing ball games first.
arggh!

i promise a better gathering in the future,
and shuinhern, i'll remember your words.
but i won't give up. that's for sure (:

wednesday 3june
macritchie training, and guess what. i woke up at 6:30am.
we did a total of 10km of jog/ walk.
4.5km + 0.5km + 0.5km + 4.5km
we ran in from one end and came out from the other end.
woah, this was the first time we ever did that.
we went past tree top walk, which was so fun.
i mean the scenery was great.
but i hate the rocky path we took back.
it was tiring, not really, but i just couldn't run properly.

then, i went back to nanyang.
ate with mrlim and other pals at six avenue.
and i did my first ever film develop.
woah, those machines are just wonderful.
they are the monsters who don't have that much amount of light.
it's our first time, so we only did 2pictures each.

went home at 6:40pm, like a norm school day

thursday 4june
that's today.
i wasn't feeling well.
didn't know why, but i couldn't get back to sleep after waking up at 6:30am
and woke up, walking around the living room, then felt sleepy at 8am plus, and got back to sleep for another hour and went to nanyang after that.

helped mrlim in the coming aep exhibition on 4july.
it's gonna be fun i guess. and i think i ought to help him.
eliz/ li yi and me did the comp work.
it was funny, haha. the three of us being unaware of what to do even after mrlim briefed us.
at 11am plus, everything was over, and li yi/ zhuhong/ shiyin n me did our film developing again!
this time, we were much experienced over these black machines,
and the dark room was no longer that creepy already.
though we still screamed silently inside, due to the dusting "pen" which scared us like xiao.
today, we developed many phototgraphs.
guess what, mrlim's portrait was developed for 5 times. Hah.
im really thankful towards mrlim, honestly.
for helping us so much, teaching us so much, and being so generous with his equipments n time.

lunch was fun, with li yi and zhuhong.
we ate mee soto, at six avenue, which we took a bus there.
and ate ice cream together. Hah. walked back to school.
Had ice cream stains all over, but luckily "it'll be all black in the dark room." (:
And we bought chips back for the aesthetics teachers.

Dark room has been my second classroom.
A place i truly love, and a place i feel that i belong.
though dark, it seems bright and many wonderful miracles happen within.
this has been an enriching experience, and i really appreciate all the teachers' efforts.
today marks the end of my journey in photography in sec2 AEP.
it had really been fun, smelling like chemicals when going back home,
and also carrying back many negatives and black and white photographs in our hands.
i wonder when i'll ever get the chance to use monster again, and the dusting "pen".
i love you MONSTER(S)! <3
[though you lou guang and shine at the wrong places]

went home at 6:40pm, like a norm school day

and guess what, i stayed in the dark room myself today for a short time,
which i normally would scream and run out.

i'm totally xiao (obsessed) with photography.
want to get a cam, soon.
staring at the cams online just makes me drool.

i used 4 guess what (s)!

valerie

pictures

mrlim's NIKON F!
(cool right?)

mrlim's NIKON F!
(negative- inverted)

the dark room
(see medium MONSTER? & giant MONSTER)
- on the table; black guy

chemicals area.
[developer, fixer, stopbath]

table area
(see the 2 mini MONSTERS?)

shiyin's negative photograph
[i took this in the dark]

2009-05-29T05:06:00.000-07:00

Hey ch6 batch 07, '06 or anybody close to us

These are the details for Next Tuesday's gathering. (2june09)

You guys may wonder why another gathering comes so early,right after the 20may one, which not many of you came. The reason is, we wanted a June holiday gathering, for that meant more people could be able to attend this. We thought of having the gathering on the first week, so as to allow the rest of the weeks to be kept as empty as possible- if you have unfinished homework, then you'll be able to rush them out easily (:

Here's what:
We'll meet at Westmall, at about 11pm for lunch.

Then, we'll proceed to warren country club for bowling as suggested as the guys.
Don't be worried that you don't know how to bowl, many don't. And, we can just talk.

As for the rest of the day, or something, we'll decide on that day itself.

THERE ARE ALRD ABOUT 20 PEOPLE IN THE CONFIRMED LIST!

Hope you guys will come on Tuesday.
See you.

Please sms/msn yingxuan or valerie/tag on the board if you are coming.
ASAP.If you guys want to know who's coming, feel free to find yingxuan/ valerie as well.

please refer to class blog (check for my links!)

2009-05-29T04:47:00.000-07:00

after today, though we'll all be living differently,
life continues still and i'll have to keep strong.
they'll live theirs. and i'll live mine.

today marks the end of term2.
today marks the start of the June holidays.
today marks the end of our old life.
today marks the end of our new life.

teachers, whom i truly love, are leaving.
it's hard for me to bear. indeed.
i have just gotten to know them better.
and i have so much wanted their presence in the next 2years.
now, i haven't got used to them being away,
and i'm afraid that i'll never will.
but i'll still try and stay strong.

for this period of time,
they have been a source of encouragement, help and moral support to me.
when i'm feeling down, frustrated, lost or confused.
an important part of my life.
and it wouldn't be the same without them.
classes wouldn't be fun, exciting and i wouldn't look forward to anything else in school.

what would become of me when term3 begins?
honestly, i really don't know.

i feel sad, but at the same time happy for them.
that they'll be living a better life, the way they'll want it to.
so, i'll just be emotional for a shortshortshort period.
and for the rest, i'll leave it for nature to take its own course.
in hope that they'll still be a part of my life in the future.

valerie.

2009-05-17T07:40:00.000-07:00

Hey CH6'07ers or '06ers

This are the details for Wednesday's gathering. (20may09)
HCI and NY people have combined sports meet
so school end earlier.

Other school people can join us, OF COURSE!
But maybe later, if you guys don't mind.
And the other ex-charitians, like of '06 or sth, feel free to come too.

Here's what:
After the sports meet,
meet at the HCI bus stop.
If you cannot find the group somehow due to overcrowding or something.
Feel free to call SHUIN HERN or VALERIE. or anybody else you think is going.

Then, we'll proceed to venezia where ellen would lead us there.
Cause i don't know where it is. I'm outdated.

We'll think about whether we want to go visit the teachers.
If majority wants to go back to walkwalk. Of course, sure! (:

Then after which, we'll decide where to go.
And our last stop woulde be at SHUIN HERN'S place!

Don't think that SHUIN HERN'S place is boring.
Of course it's not.
We'll have loads of fun.
This is not the first time it's there.
So confirm there's gonna be fun. VALERIE can confirm.

We had super amount of fun there then.
Not much people went then, it was sad.
Thus, i hope more would come.
All it lacks was a photograph together.

And one more thing is:
No matter which boring place we may be at,
at it matters are the people you're with.
That's all (:

Hope you guys will come on Wednesday.
See you.

Please sms/msn shuin hern or valerie/tag on my board or class board if you are coming.
ASAP.

2009-05-17T07:39:00.000-07:00

maybe i was too emo in the previous post.
sorry.sorry.sorry.

i'll change for the better.
tee hee.

and be a smiley me (:

valerie.

P.S. i wanted to upload a nice picture. But this comp don't have my pictures.

2009-05-15T04:37:00.000-07:00

"help me! I'm drowning..."
but no one helps, stares, and laugh.
my voice fades away,
and soon carried away by the sea tides.

it's 7:38, friday 15May09
im finally blogging again.

life's _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _!

i think i'm going to bang my head on the wall soon. then i'll bleed and die.
will you clap, and say w-o-a-h, s-h-e d-i-e-d.
or will you cry, and shed some tears for this friend of yours.

people change. every minute.
every second. people change.
from good to bad/vice versa.
people change. and i feel terrible.

valerie hasn't had her dinner,
though it's cooked in the rice cooker.
she's having herself for accompany now.
and she's tired. tired of the world. tired. tired. tired.
i think i need to block my mind, and format my brain.
so i'll start anew, and forget. forget.

sometimes i wonder if im just being sensitive,
or what kev said: a sense of insecurity
when i thought i needed close friends,
just a few, that 'd do, everybody drifts away.
when i thought this year 'd fine,
at least, not as bad as '08, everything goes astray.
when i thought im finally happy at school,
everything seems to be changing in its way.

i think i ain't born to a life full of friends.
i guess im just supposed to be alone.
tearing alone. laughing alone. shouting alone.
i guess that'd be the best for everybody.

have i changed?
i HATE myself.

i want to be 12,
then perhaps i'll always be happy.
and no worries. no heartbreaks. no sadness. no tireness. no sensitiveness. nothing

"It hurts. It hurts. Everything. All over. Goodnight"

I hope to smile as happily as FREDERICK did (:

2009-03-15T00:29:00.000-07:00

please note:

the secret admirers in my tagboard are my friends.
i even know who they are. they hint-ed to me.
sorry if they caused unwanted attention/ inconvenience O.O
they are trying to force me to update my blog once again.
cause it had been too dead alr.
haha.

thankyou everyone (:

VALERIE!

2009-03-15T00:23:00.000-07:00

hello (:
tomorrow marks the start of our official march holiday.
i'm happy about not needing to wake up early in the morning.
HIP HIP HOORAY!
But after the holidays,
it marks the start of our official block test.
OMGoodness! SHOOT!

I had a pleasant friday.
A very fun and happy time.
Having dinner w/ shiyin, lynn n chloe at
HARDROCK cafe.

Super fun de.
Thankyou lynn.
<3

And for yesterday, a lot happened in the evenings.
A lot. so much, so much.
Thankyou sean.
<3

I love you guys.
(everyone who loves <3 )

I love trackmates.
You guys are great.
<3

VALERIE!

2009-03-06T06:23:00.000-08:00

Lifeskills camp is officially over.
Honestly, I'm missing it, real loads.
It was fun!

This would be the last year having LSC.
Next year's OBS and the following's Graces camp.
No more of such.

I'll post some pictures soon.
When I have the time.

TRAINING RESUMES 2MORO!

valerie ! (:

2009-02-21T20:29:00.000-08:00

2009-01-24T06:40:00.000-08:00

Hello there,
yesterday was peihwa's CNY celeb.
When we reached kap, there weren't a lot of ppl there.
but...at least some of you guys were present.
that was the least i thought you guys ought to do.
girls were like so little, please.
guys, some of you kept with your group.

hey, i dont mean anything.
i hate it when you ppl think elsewhere,
which is totally wrong.

i went home after that to bathe,
but then proceeded to shuin's house.
it was really a fun day yesterday.
though we played stupid games, with you guys,
everything seems so fun and enjoyable.

i mean what i say.
oh, i like the sms hide and seek and marco polo.
though i can't find you ppl and keep banging my head. haha.
i promised shuin that i'll do sth the next gathering (celeb).
remind me. i don't want to lose my promise. ok?

i love you people.
for i feel a kind of love you give (me)
which i can never experience in secondary life.
you guys are the motivation for me
to last through all the emotional periods.
thankyou, my friends.

valerie.

2009-01-15T04:59:00.000-08:00

hey!
havent posted for like 2months already~
there's so much that happened in the 2months.
so much, so much.
sometimes i feel that my brain's too small to squeeze in all those right inside me.
sometimes i feel that my body is just unable to take some kinds of emotions right within me.
sometimes, i really hate myself.
sometimes, i really love myself.
isn't that irony? contradicting myself.

laugh, smile, cry.
i experienced all those just within that bare 2months.
i just can't take them all. i think i'm gonna burst soon.
im gonna burst into millions of pieces and hopefully, these emotions would be scattered everywhere, and thus, i wouldnt be able to get them back.

nat says everything would be fine after valentines'.
it would be a nicenice 2009!
but..im scared.

it hasnt been much of a great start for me.
and im still feeling kinda depressed.
for the things i can't achieve.
for the things i can't comprehend.
for the things i can't settle.

too much.
for me to bear.

but i believe in magic.
i'll form magic.
and keep myself happy.
happy, i say.
for those who love me.
i promise.

valerie (:

2008-11-24T07:18:00.001-08:00

;this was some pictures i took on saturday when i was out with them.

at great world, we went macs

i did this when i was bored. i thought this sketching looked ugly and totally not realistic cause it's too fat. btw, the sktechings are drawn on tissue and it broke.

this is fabian's outline. he thought it was a heart shape, before i drew in the outline of his nose. sighh. such a failure... heartbroken.

mac's icecream. with my teeth marks, done on purpose.
don't they look like tire marks? or shoe-steps?

mac's fries

i doodled on the box on the far right.

we played arcade after that.

missed the drumings we did.

funfun, but yea, my skin sort of tore. slightly.

but the song, chinese new year was totally

chaotic, yet FUN!

-valerie (:

2008-11-24T07:03:00.000-08:00

;wanted to upload photographs for a super long time and since i didn't know what to upload, here's some random shots from the choral and drama nite.

mashmallows we sold for the mashmallow dipped in chocolate fudge

these are the popcorns we sold too!

the main slide shown before the beggining of the performance

flowers i received on nite. they were given respectively by chloe!, yanchun!, maybelle! and my mom! i tired to press the flowers, bad idea. the orange flowers almost got rotten!? and these are its last photographs before i had no choice but to throw them again.

in conclusion, the choral nite was quite fun.

we'll be doing english drama next year.

friends are welcomed to attend.

hahaha.

there was sight this year during fundraising. funny!

-end

2008-11-24T06:50:00.000-08:00

hi ;D
i haven't posted for such a long time alrd. yea, i know that.
but i guess you guys know me well enough to tell that i'm a lazy person.

;my heart's been snapped apart forcefully and patched back again.
that's simply too easy for me. for i've always been in training for it.
no one allows my heart to be kept in one single piece.
for i've always been worry-ing, tear-ing, stone-ing and lone-ing.

life nowadays;
-trainings, which is thrice a week
-going on a holiday soon
-cramming to complete my homework
-heart aches, tear-ing.
don't be bothered by the last sentence for there are too many factors leading to that.

i'm this weirdo for
i feel lonely sometimes when i know there's someone beside me
i feel happy sometimes when there's no one beside me

can you tell me what's me then?

-valerie(:

2008-11-11T20:01:00.000-08:00

time has passed too fast than I've thought initially,
specially for this year, the start of my secondary life.
I guess that's due to the homework and proj and..yea,everything.
Sometimes, life is just too hard to comprehend.
One, like me tends to say I hate time for it's moving too fast
but on the other hand, have you ever realised that despite this seemingly short period of time,
tons and tons of memories are present in our minds.
and this meant that life may be short but things may still be done meaningfully
with purpose (s).

yeap. but i haven't achieved that kind of standards. to my disappointment.
I think I have too much of dreams and things that I want and hope to do.
that's why I'm always stuck at the start point.
Together with the piling things that I want to do that is increasing after every single one is completed.

opps. stop my crapping.
and many things have gone through recently.

Quick updates:
I went to the Singapore biennale.fun
Choral and Drama's officially over but i still have fundraising later on.
Missed the recent class gathering cause there's some issues contradicting me to go.
Bowling has been part of me a lot recently. Trainings as well.
Currently watching a lot of television programmes and hoping to improve my drawing skills.
Has been reading manga (not consistent though)
Wants time to stop. here. as a sec1 student.

etc.

- valerie (:
will post some pics soon.

2008-10-17T05:21:00.000-07:00

Hey! I'm back from the PSL camp.
I've gotta admit it that it's super fun.
It's so much better than the previous camps!
It's a 2 days 1 night camp in nanyang, of course.
We all slept in the conference room- with air-conditioner.

These are the four activities I like the most:
1) Night Trail
2) Water Games
3) The Amazing Race
4) Movie Screening

The Night Trail was terrifying, yet fun at the same time! It's about the bloody murder and we were supposed to find who's the murderer. The PSL seniors acted as ghosts and various roles, situated in different areas. AND, it's conducted at like 8plusplus to 9, at night. They switched off all "necessary" lights and per grp was only allowed with 1 torch. In this huge school, it was super scary at the beginning, it was dark and creepy, the only light source was that of the torch and some from the corridors and stuff.

To note: the PSL seniors really were good actresses. They were super scary. We were screaming in the school like mad ppl and then, I was wondering if the residents around could have heard us. But this activity was great, we kept extremely bonded--holding hands and running like mad ppl away from them. It's hard to explain in detail how fun/scary it was, but it sure was a great activity!

Just had the water games before we cleaned up the toilets and bade goodbye. At first, I was rather reluctant to join in for I knew it was definitely very wet and would be terrible. But then, I thought that I should try in for every single activity arranged for us so I joined it. Regretted that I hadn't join earlier, as it was super fun. Of course, every single spot of my clothing were soaked wet, my grp member's even had loads of soap on them. We seemed to have just gone to bathe, yet still quite unkempt after that. Haha. Funfunfun.

The Amazing Race was great and fun too. The whole grp of us, 10 ppl headed for the CBD areas after receiving our first clue. Ours was tough, and we spent two whole hours searching for the first clue where I passed it like twice already. After that, we went to the esplanade and took a clip of the skit we did. That was the best part of this activity. It was so hilarious- the skit. The video's still in my phone, currently. Then we went to the suntec conventional center (Is it spelt like that?). It was quite easy to find the clues there, it's just that we didn't have enough time to complete the rest thus we returned to school, completing 7 stations which is considered good already.

The movie was great too. I loved it loads, real loads. I haven't watched this movie before so it was great. We were watching the movie, comfortably sitting on our sleeping bags at the same time in the conference room. This was a great activity too, it's like so fun to have the whole group of ppl to watch a movie together, other than the cinema and have such a comfortable location, just like at home.

Oh yea, I love the song session too.It was cute and relaxing singing those songs cum its actions and stuff.

In total, I love this camp. It was so organised and well-planned by our PSL board ex-cos and I had a great time. Of course, I would look forward for next year's too!

Hip Hip Hooray!

; valerie.

2008-10-03T05:58:00.000-07:00

you know, i realise that in life, it's just so difficult to find true friends,
or you may say best friends.
define best friends, cause i guess i never had one.
sometimes, i feel that i'm just loitering about searching for that friend of mine,
but it just never appears to.
i've tried to change, in terms: talk more?
but i guess i'm just such a bore. I just talking crap (to them).
I realised i've been speaking lesser by day, currently.
like geography graphs, the trend is that, above.
i'm not outcasted but it just seems somewhat along that way.
like, if there's a next class to attend, i don't even know who i should walk w?
or even talk to. everyone has their cliques. i can't be an extra there, right?

forget abt it, i'm talking crap again.

2008-09-17T06:05:00.000-07:00

life is okayokay la.
today, kinda emo in the morning.
then, i felt better later.
erm- good to have close friends like 1) and 4). check below that quiz.
they smsed in class for me. so guilty.
haha. sorry, let's end here.
I haven't studied for bookcart that's on-going tomorrow.
die, i must be thick-skinned tomorrow.
get my marks.

note:
thanks for being my close friends. so much (:
i was still thinking that you all wont reply me when i sent the sms. haha lol.

2008-09-17T05:37:00.000-07:00

A quiz from..

1. The person who tag you is.
NG.

2.Your relationship with him/her.
good friends? i wonder if it still is..

3.Your five impression of him/her .
chiochio (attractive), soft-spoken, smart, nice, friendly

4. The most memorable thing he/she had done for you .
none, i guess. haha. sorry :p

5. The most memorable thing he/she had said to you .
nothing, i guess. hello?

6. If he/she become your lover , you will..
die of awkwardness ba.

7.If he/she become ur lover , thing he/she has to improve on will be...
find topic(s) to talk w me and make me high-er.

8.If they become your enemy , you will.

9. If they become your enemy , the reason will be.

10.You want to tell for them now is.
hope we'll stay in contact. talk more. teach me how to be more pretty. jkjk

11.your overall impression of them is
same as 3.

12. How do you think ppl around you will feel about you.
nerd.nerd. bad-terrible/horrible. quiet (sometimes-most)

13.The characters you love of yourself are.
just myself, including bad areas. i can't change anything, can I?

14. On the contrary , the characters you hate yourself are.
nothing. I'm made this way. I should try to love myself?

15.The most ideal person you want to be is
myself. no one else.

16.For ppl that care and like you , say something to them
oh i've loads to say. but yea, mainly thanks (:

17.Pass this quiz to 10 person that you wished to know how they feel about you.
1) keffinlow
2)benjamin
3)yingxuan
4)wangshiyun
5)mingkit
6) angeline
7)theodore
8)cherie
9) weiyang? so random
10)jiaying.joey

18. who is no.6 having relationship with?
idk. but many suitors la.

19. Is no.9 a male or female ?
male.

20.If no.7 and 10 are together , will it be a good thing ?
not possible. they don't know each other.

21. what is no.2 studying about ?
everything? EOYs coming.

22. when was the last time you had a chat with no.3 ?
a short one. hello, these kind? today.

23. what kind of music band does no.8 like?
erm? i'm not sure.

24.Does no.1 have any siblings ?
nope.

25. will you woo no.3 ?
erm. i don't think so. have suitors liao la

26. how about no.7 ?
he's younger than me.

27. is no.4 single ?
maybe? i dont ask.

28. what is the surname of no.5 ?
lim mingkit

29. what is the hobby of no.10 ?
dreaming? listening to music?

30.Does no.5 and 9 get along well ?
okay ba.

31.what is no.2 studying at?
raffles institution

32. talk something actually about no. 1
extremely nice.

33. Have you tried developing feelings for no.8 ?
no.

34.where does no.9 live at?
near chun tin road?

35. what colour does no. 4 like ?
erm? everthing? i forgot le. im so bad.

36. are no.5 and no.1 best friend ?
idk if it's best, but i do know. they are quite good friends.

37. does no.1 have any pets ?
i dont think so. he haven't told me tt he had any.

38. is no.7 the sexiest person in the world ?
whoots! idk? define sexy.

39. what is no.10 doing now.
on the computer msning or smsing or daydreaming? idk

-the end-

2008-08-29T08:34:00.000-07:00

today, i just want to say:
HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY!

at nanyang, our celebration was awesome.
i bet almost everyone would say their school's celeb was awesome...
but to me, ours was really great! It's so fun, compared to primary school.

especially when
101 performs in front of the whole school, isn't that superb..
It's Witch Doctor and clapclap, bangbang.
with shiny blue stars made of makeup (eyeliners?) on our faces and blue ribbons on our hair.
Initially, we thought of giving up at the auditions already, but we didn't.
With practicepracticepracticepracticepractice, we succeeded!
101, our efforts aren't wasted then.

I always enjoyed clapping w Jolyn, and I did today again.
We were smilingsmilingsmilingsmilingsmilingsmilingsmiling,
and even if we clapped wrongly, don't think we'll even realise it. hahas (:
That was totally fun.

after that, we went to the third floor to enjoy the rest of the performance.
I loved the part of the teachers nominees award part.
It consisted of:

X the most charming male/female teacher
X the most unconventional teacher
X the most stylist male/female teacher
X the most organised teacher
X the most energetic teacher
X the most enduring teacher
X the most inspiring teacher
X the most audible teacher

I don't know if I missed out any, but that's about it.

let's talk about one of the awards then.
the most charming male teacher.
Mr Lim Kok Boon won that award. Whoa!
He was supposed to walk up the stage,
pose at the table and chair, then receive his award.
That was considered funny, yet cute. hahas.
You know what, I video-taped the whole thing down with my phone.
101 knew he won the award long before the others did,
we performed, and at the backstage, we peeped at the awards. haha (:
Then when the group of us went down to look for Mr Lim,
he seemed to be in a rather good mood,
he allowed us to take a photo of him w a wizard's hat.
I think the hat was given to him by one of his ex-students, I suppose.
With his name on it..mmm.
Yea, his camera was super cool.
That large thing. It's quite heavy. And when he told me to help him hold it,
I was so scared that I'll drop it on the floor. Then die.

After all those at nanyang, I went back to peihwa. with a group of people.
I'm super evil, I didn't buy anything, not even making a simple card.
I'll do that next year. And that's a promise.
Met Mdm Ling, Mrs Lee, Mrs Elan and Linlaoshi.
Then I saw the other CH6`07ers.

25 of us went to eat at Pizza Hut again.
I shall name them then; since I've got nth to do: boliao.

guys: Rz/Clement/Shawn/Aloy/Ben/Mk/Wy/ShuinH
gals: Gen/Yx/Me/Jiaqi(Shawn's sis)
/Prisca/Ellen/Yiern/Yixian/tm/Rebecca/Vic/Hua2/Jy/Anna/Hsiuyee/Lingan/Gahyarn etc.

I've bad memory, I can't rmb everyone. Sorry!

Then 14 of us went to JEC and watched Wall-E.
I shall name them again then; since I've got nth to do: boliao.

guys:Rz/Aloy/Ben/Mk/ShuinH
gals: Me/Ellen/Yiern/Yixian/tm/Rebecca/Vic/Hua2/Jy

The movie's not bad. That lil' guy's super cute de. Plus EEE-va.
But I really can't imagine Earth being like that, it's kinda scary.

Soon later, the movie end-ed.
Aloy, Ben and Mk wanted to go ShuinH's house.
and I was sort of forceddd to go.
They threatened that they won't go without me. Then I'll feel super guilty de.
Luckily Hua2 accompanied me, imagine me being there only. (1girl 4guys) jkjk.
Vic didn't go, she had classes at 6plus. sadd.

There, we played all the card games etc. like murderer, memory games.
that we played after PSLE in class. Super fun. And that evoked the many memories in me.
I stayed there till 6.20plus then I took a lift from Mk's dad home.

In total, it was fun, happy and ______. I can't tell you the last one. It's classified.
I think this is the longest post I've ever written..

But I really nth to talk to anybody. Or mayb, no one wants to talk to me.
It's really sad.
I wonder if I'll go to these gatherings next yr. I don't want to be outcasted.
But.. I'm always. Somehow, in one way or another.
It's just that you people don't realise it..

Is it possible to have at least a few people off the whole CH6`07 to attend the gatherings?
I hope to see everyone. Not just at Pizza Hut, but even in the movie theatre. until everything ends.
...pleasee...i wishh.

valerie.♥

2008-08-11T02:11:00.000-07:00

hello.
it has been so long since i posted. oops :X sorry.
and i wanted to change my blog skin as well.
but, I'm simply too fussy. i can't find anything i like.
i want to make my own, but i don't know how to.
any voluntary teachers? please!!! sigh.
and yesterday, the bunch of us went to a reservior. (i forgot how to spell the name)
the bunch of us= my family & other families. we've known each for a long longx100 time le.
it was really nice. i took several pictures too :D
all of them were nice. not boasting la. haha

these rocks are really nice. look at the water. blue+red.

the sun's gonna set soon...

the awesome wonderful trees!

i guess you know what's this. my hand+sun!

i took this after i reached home. it's downstairs.

to add on: i love the awesome7. fine, many won't understand.

that's the 7 who's in the picture we had taken while eating ______ (fruit) at night.

only we know

cheers (:

;valerie♥

2008-07-28T02:12:00.000-07:00

another random photograph.

credits given to:

elizabeth ho, the maker of those you see above.
caozhiyi, for lending me hers (the silver one)
and not forgetting me, the mastermind of this photograph

hello peeps.
today is the cross-country day.
the whole school ran the 3.2km cross country.
and school ended quite early, in fact (:

training's gonna resume many days later.
but im not sure of the exact date. whoa, i can go home early (:
hey, it's not that i dislike training, but i like going home early--to sleep -.- "

i read xxx's blog.
emotions started to stir in me. it's simply too emo for me.
i shouldn't reveal the person's name nor should i continue talking about xxx.
yea, i dont know what i should say about xxx, and i have no right to give comments.
but, yea. i just want to tell everyone: smile, and forget about the rest! (:

and one last thing, sorry for posting so late.
my blocks just ended, that was last week.
i can only say a word, difficult.
almost all the papers required much thinking.
even for history and geography. the source-based q.s n etc.
perhaps only i feel that way, the smart kind wont. well, im not.

my blocks ended later than other people.
i had to take my aep theory exam.
and that paper was difficult as well.
it wasn't any better than the rest of them.
i thought i studied enough, but it proved me wrong. i didn't.
i think i focused too much for the wrting areas, i nvr knew we had to draw.
i bet a few of my friends would agree with me for that point. mrlim didn't mention >.<

mayb i shouldn't argue about that. i was the one who's supposed to study...

fine, i'll end here.
i haven't done my chinese presentation preps. die :X

valerie;

2008-07-13T04:40:00.000-07:00

hello.
sorry for not posting for such a long time.
and sorry i cant post a picture today, gotta test sth out with the pics.
examinations are coming, but why does it seems that homework is still piling?
i still have ccas and assignments. I also have presentations and projects nowadays.

time seem to past so fast.
now, its the 7th month. july.
i thought about so many things that happened last time.
started to miss a lot of things.
coach, friends, juniors, many,myself.
everything.everyone.

can we all meet up again one of these days?
pleasee. 29 sep> teachers day celebration.
i really hope to see everyone there. everyone.
not anyone missing. no one.

are you all going back?
back to where we're from?
...

valerie <3

2008-06-10T06:03:00.000-07:00

i promise:
i'll post a picture every time i blog.
i dont want my blog to be so dead.
hhees. hope i'll follow-.
<3

2008-06-10T05:57:00.001-07:00

this is a random picture of mine >.<
valerie <3

...took this longlonglong time ago

2008-06-10T05:55:00.000-07:00

2008-06-09T08:44:00.001-07:00

i realised it feels so good to be remembered.
ben: thanks for being a granny <3 a nice one indeed.

"hey, thanks for being dere.
at least for remembering me.
when im always not."
...

valerie

2008-06-09T08:02:00.000-07:00

Saw this on ben's blogg. he tagged a name, "valerie". So, is that person me?

A) People who have been tagged muz write their ans on their blogs and replace any qsn tt they dislike with a new qsn formulated by themselves.
B) Tag 8 ppl to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These ppl muz state whom they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they whom they were tagged by. Cont. this game by sendin it to other ppl.

1. Wat do u tink an ideal fren shld be lyk?
someone who wld at least remember my presence and treats me like im dere.
i dont like to left out >.<

2. Whose butt wld u lyk to kick?
er.. tough question. mine? for not focusing-homework's not done. and still playing here.

3. Wat wld u do with a billion dollars?
i want to buy albums. learn & try hands-on many things. go tours. share w my family members. playy. plus, mayb donate to needy ppl?

4. Wat's ur ideal lover lyk?
-loves me
-loves my family members
-can be able to stand me
i'll think about the rest next time ba.

5. Which is more blessed, lovin sumone or bein loved by sumone?
to me, it's both. it's blessed to love someone and be lovedd <3

6. Hw long do u intend to wait for sumone you really luv?
let's think about that later in the future, im not at that stage yet.

7. Is there anythin tt has made you extremely happy?
maybe. maybe not. my emotions ar quite odd, even i dont know how i really feel deep down.

8. Define the term "frens".
someone who wld at least remember my presence and treats me like im dere.
i dont like to left out >.< (same as ideal frens! cause what my ideal fren is like is actually quite easily found, many are my ideal friends)

9. if the person you secretly lyk is already attached, wat wld you do?
think about that later, will we?

10. Hw wld u see urself in 10 yrs tym?
someone i hope to become.

11. Who is currently the most important ppl to u?
family and friends. plus ppl round me.

12. Wat kind of person do u tink the person who tagged u is?
ohh. ben. my old granny <3 he's so nice. thanks for remembering me. im really not a easily noticed/remembered person. it's quite a shock that he tagged me. unless, im not the "valerie" he mentioned in his blog. T.T

13. Wld u rather b single and rich or married bt poor?
what do you mean by poor? really poor? like unable to support ourselves le marh?

14. Wat's the first thing you do wen you wake up?
open my eyes. hheehhee.

15. Wld you giv all in a realationship?
i havent been in one, so what do you think?

16. If you fall in love with 2 ppl at the same tym, who wld you pick?
the one i prefer?

17. Wat type of ppl do you hate?
none. dont hate.

Eight people:
-yanchun
-gladys
-huahua
-xinyi
-rachelsim
- *
- *
- * (shinyun: if u have a blog, you'ar included)
anyone can be the last 3 ppl; im always not remembered so i dont know who i should put for the 8 people. (the ppl above are those i know have been to my blog recently.)

lalala, valerie :D

2008-06-09T07:07:00.000-07:00

hello<3
it has been a really long time since i've posted.
i've been so busy--with cca, homework and blah.
and hey, thanks for the taggs. so much.
i havent finish my homework. die die die le.
_______________________________________

let's talk about my SENIORS!
who shall it be?- gladys; maybelle; jinyin; yanchun;debra ...
today, they are all kinda ______.
i dont know what word i should use for them.
yeah, high. too high indeed. or mayb weird.
hheehhee. but i wont say why.
these ar track secrets. loll ;D
________________________________________

reply to tags
to ben: thanks for being a granny. hheehhee <3>

2008-05-09T05:28:00.000-07:00

boo hoo.
it's been 21 days since i blogged.
many had happened these few days.
im feeling really tired now.
real tired.

things that happened:
1. tdy's mr ho's last day at NY. sobs T_T
2. we cooked mushroom in the art room that day (:
the cream of mushroom soup was nice~
3.NAPFA's officially declared finish.
4. SIAs and homework are piling too.
many more.

thanks for tagging.
all you people.

it's really very nice of you all.
but pls bear with me that i wont be blogging recently.
there's too much of homework for me to bear nowadays.
after this, im gonna rush out some homework as well too.

i've been wanting to change this blogskin
but i dont have the time to do so.
it's really so time-consuming, you-know?
i'll blog a longer post next time
though i dont kno when's the next time im blogging,
and if i've got the time but i promise.
so, bye

a tired valerie.

but sad at the same time.
such a good teacher like mr ho's leaving.
it's really very saddening.
...

2008-04-18T04:37:00.000-07:00

hello 'D

today, we didnt do painting. we did theory.
i thought it was going to be boring, boring, boring.
but, it wasnt. Mr Ho showed us so many clips today.
He's nice. The clips were nice too. Spray art, sand art..many more.

had slef-insruct track and field today.
then i went to the library. have to borrow books.urgent.
i borrowed three chinese books. thick, thick, the last one's okayy.
im gonna use them for my chinese book review. (2)
i wonder if i can finish them on time.
it's due on 5 may? i forgot the date.
hope i'll finish them.
hees. gtg le 'D

2008-04-17T06:16:00.000-07:00

hey people.
...
i really dont kno what to say today.

i did my colour wheel.
my hands were trembling..
i wonder if the colours are correct though.
i used my new paintbrush and palette. hees.
but it was a self-instruct lesson which i dislike loads.

there's another lesson tomorrow,
hope i complete the next assignment.
and finish it fast; or else i'll lose my recess.
and have to finish stats. tomorrow. 0.0 impossible.
i'll try. with my groupmates.

i had track today too.
mayb cause it's aft aep,
the workload decreased. a lil' 0.0
okay, nevermind. no complains are allowed de.

2008-04-12T09:56:00.000-07:00

im emphasizing again.
trees are beautiful.
nice nice objects.
in our life.
everywhere.

on thurs, 10/april,
when i was having my training, running up th slopes at HCI.
i ran past those trees. that looked cute and round in shape.
the leaf of those trees were orange and green. nice nice nice.
they were in different shades of orange. dark, light and just nice.

but do you know what i saw?
there were the 'time keeper stickers' stuck on the trees.
aiyah. i wonder who did it..sigh.
so, love the environmentt.
be environmentally-friendly.
love trees.
love green.
'D

2008-03-24T05:46:00.000-07:00

hello.
update le.
erm..block tests results coming le. scared.
and one mor thing. everyone should meet up one day. like 1st April?
anything. im fine. gtg. byebye.
sorry for extra short reply.
val ;D

2008-03-15T23:30:00.000-07:00

Love Green.
Live Sweet.

2008-03-14T05:11:00.000-07:00

Lifeskills camp
it's not that fun after all.
anyway, i never thought it was fun at first.
>.< dotss
i like these th best:
talent time
toilet cleaning
mass dance
but the last2 was the best!
we made a new toilet song. it's fun(:

AEP Pulau Ubin trip
gathered at school-6.45am=EARLY
went to changi and took a ferry to pulau ubin.
notmany schools were in sight. (only: us, hci, vs, chij toapayoh)

my group-
hwachong: koshu
nanyang: me, shiyun, ruisian
chij toapayoh: maxene, lynette, sherie
vs: matthew, yingzhe
honestly speaking; i doubt i'll get to see them again.
it's kinda sad. i should have taken their msn emails or something.
though we are not that close. but we can keep in touch de mah.
we were all getting to kno each other better le eh. sobs.

but anyway, this trip's fun. much better than i expected.
aft this trip, i love watercolour painting. it's cool, fun, nice, artistic. haha
i'll be reading mor art books from now. and looking through art materials.
i simply love my painting that day, it's not perfect. but it's quite nice (2me)
and i found that macR.'s quite a nice place to paint watercolour. th trees dere are beautiful.
th trees at pulau ubin are beautiful too. look around and u'll see many beautiful trees.

trees are simply something great.
they are beautiful and they help us so..much.
LOVE TREES
for they are great things in our life.

2008-02-29T04:31:00.000-08:00

hii
trainings and trainings. hahas.
and my march hols is packed.
i have to wake up early everyday except sat and sun. yikes.
and one mor thing. this post is attempted with the help of ben. again.
let me explain:

mon: track 8am HCI and Science class 11am
tues: AEP pulau ubin(do you spell it like tt?) 6:45am to 6:30pm
weds: mathematics class 8:30am
thurs: track 8am MacR
fri: track 8am NYGH

gtg le. byebye. post next time le.

2008-02-22T05:12:00.001-08:00

im a cry-baby.
am ii?
am ii not?

2008-02-22T05:11:00.001-08:00

im sensitive.
am ii?
am ii not?

2008-02-22T05:02:00.000-08:00

things seems to change alot.
i found out that everybody's a changed person.
going through blogs of other classes'o7. its sad.
looking at the photographs they posted on their blogs.
it makes me want to cry out loudly. reall loud.
ii miss every single person in phpps. alot alot.
i found out that i havent seen people like
andrea, jeanette..for such a long time.
i havent seen so many people.
teachers, coach, juniors, frends.

as time passes day by day. i tend to forget about everyone.
iim so evil. am ii? memories fading away.. i feel like crying.
can we all meet up one day. like really everybody.
not ch6ers but everybody.

and even ch6ers gathering. not everybody's dere. it's sad.
why?
someone get me an answer, please--

2008-02-07T20:44:00.000-08:00

boo.
this post is dedicated to ben AGAIN.
this is regarding the events tt happened on 6feb.
it's in order de:

1) aft my cny celebrations at nanyang
2) we chiong-ed to peihwa
3) went to pizza hut at bukit timah plaza
4) ate and toked to teachers
5) went to JEC
6) took neoprints. loads of them
7) left around 3/4plus

people that went to JEC:
me, yx, ng, hua2, prisca, vicyap, yiern, ellen, monk, ben, jiawei, rebekah, weilin, lingyi, gahyarn, shengchun, shuinhern, jieying, gen, shiyun, anna

it was fun. hahas(:
smiles. val

2008-02-02T23:09:00.000-08:00

school's just like that.
it's so long since i've blogged.
it's time-consuming de. i can't it when i have time t.
but thankalls for tagging la. real bigbig thanks.
im still going for my track trainings now..
mon, fri. i've got AEP on thurs de.
but. ms tan told me to go on thurs. after AEP.
becos AEP ends at 4pm, i can go till 5pm de.
i went MacR on fri. 6 of us only. im de only sec1, of course.
the seniors are real nice de. THANKYOUS (:
they make me feel like im not felt alone. and homework's piling.
so i have to rush out whenever i gets one. hahas. gtg lms le. bye(:

2008-01-18T05:40:00.000-08:00

lalalalalalala.

today was okay.
but kinda happy la.
somehow, cause it's friday!
i had science lessons today.
lab lessons. used the microscopes.
though it seems ok for everyone else.
it took quite some time for everything
to be in the correct order. so embarassing.
had a chinese composition writing today too.
minimum is 500 plus words. whoots. okay la.
and today, i had track training. till like 6pm? late!
and i love the cooling down game--captain's ball.
im sorry for being a lil' out in the game la. and im
oso sorry for passing the ball to the upper sec group.
but i think im just not really good very things like balls.

i havent started doing my SIA(s)
and quite a lot of homework eh.
and im currently toking to
odelia; my PHPPS track junior.
MrsLee is her english `cher eh. and
MrsLee said tt she misses us guys loads.
That's so nice of her. As in we have left and
she still remembers us. and she has gd memory. lol.
i miss the whole of ch6`07 too. real loads. no guys to play with le. hahas.
and perhaps starting of year. now like not much friends leh. im so sad.
gtg le. post next time. when im free (:

val.

2008-01-14T05:13:00.000-08:00

this post is dedicated to ben:
(a frend i really miss without during classes)

hey, is not i dont have time. im lazy la.
i have started my trainings le eh, and it's tiring.

1st training: have cramps in all my 4 limbs plus abdomen pain
2nd training:have cramps in my arms plus abdomen pain
3rd training: aches only le. yeah!
4th training: leg pain and a lil' cramp
(that's today!)

okay lets tok about the recent one. today!
training was okay. but it started to rain at 4.2opm plus.
as per norm, we were at hwachong track dere training la.
our trainings ended early cause there might be thunder.
then the rain started to pour heavier and heavier eh.
we didnt bring umbrellas or something cause hwachong is just opp.
we ran out of hwachong main entrance and jogged on the bridge. it was real wet.
nanyang seems to be a lil' flooded. hahas. im exaggerating. but dere were water puddles.
we have to run 8minutes jog for coolingdown exercise. and my shoes was real soaked de.
my socks were soaked too. i hate that feeling. it isn't nice, okay? and rest then left NYGH.

Yesterday, we went to coach's house. It was totally cool. I can't say details. it isn't nice.
i didn't get permission to advertise on coach's house or something. but one thing that i can
tell you for sure is that.. I myself kno tt MY COACH IS A WONDER-CHAMPION!
we all just simply love him. hahas. and dere was me, yx, elizabelle, joan, andrea, jeanette.
sean was asked by me to go de lor. but he say all girl and he's got something on too.
but i can tell he really wanted to see coach so i helped him send his regards to coach lor.
hey sean, must thank me hor. yesterday night, you didn't thank me right? i dont rmb eh..
hahas. just jkjk. im not tt petty. i found out some of my friends really dont understand me somehow. though it's like a small prob but we have known for many years le lor. it's kinda sad de. really hope to have more friends to counsel me. haha. like weiyang (: but these friends are just great. it's true. thanks! lalala.

sorry for toking so much crap. i doubt you will read till here right? hahas.
just to say thanks to these ppl below:
-weiyang
-seanseoh
-ben (reading my blog. hahas)
-my family members
and many mor.i forgot. but these are the ppl i want to highlight
cause i kno tt they had been great to me(:

val(:

2007-12-28T01:21:00.000-08:00

hello.
school's reopening. and i dont like it.
there's nothing else to say. so bye
sorry for a short post.

2007-12-22T20:17:00.000-08:00

testing out.

2007-12-22T20:10:00.000-08:00

hello~
back long time ago le.
went from 11dec to 18dec.
to macau, zhuhai, hongkong.

the previous day
you all must have reported to your schools, right.
i went tgt with cherie. (mayb you dont know her)
and i saw jiawei on the bus; alone. i tot parents would come along?
i saw quite a few of ppl in school. huahua, yixian, hsiuyee, shengchun.
there are many more, but i didn't managed to see them. but they were there.
and one more thing i haven't collected my cert yet either.hahas :)
gtg. have to sms to someone, that i need to tok to badly. bye

2007-12-12T17:11:00.000-08:00

hello there~
today was a fine day anyway.
im currently in macau. and it's not really that cold.
i've just eaten my breakfast and i can tell you it's erm.lousy.
the porridge is okay but i hate the milk tea. it's bitter cum sour.
can you ever imagine a breakfast like that? but i have to fill my stomach mah.

in macau it's like aircon temperature. wearing jackets all day.
and what about singapore? it's raining loads? i've heard.
i'll be checking out by 11.30am and taking a boat to zhuhai le.
and stay there for like 2 days then go to hongkong.finally~yeah!
hey, how's everybody in singapore?
are you planning a outing together soon?
can i join in anyways?

i think many people are overseas right?
must be lar.hey, gtg now bye~

2007-12-09T08:29:00.000-08:00

hey.

i took this picture at FARMART.

these rabbits are real cute!

hope you like them loads (:

val~

2007-12-09T08:09:00.000-08:00

nice2 post again.
but no topics. NONE!
i want to go out, with friends.
but i wonder if it's possible at all.

i havent been in contact with many ppl.
what have they been doing these days.
what ...
do they even care now?
i wonder.

But if you think of
the places to go.
the things to do.
the ppl to call.
nothing pops of my head.yikes!
but even if i do so. and rack my brains till they hurt.
will my friends even come?
will they even have the time?
BLAH.

i dont want to think about it le.
it gives me creeps.loads of them.

toking to angeline now.
it has been a long time since i've talked to her.
so im feeling really happy now. i really do.
im going overseas too. on tuesday~HK.yeah!
gtg then. bye(:

2007-12-02T07:47:00.001-08:00

hey.
mayb my friends aren't that bad after all.
today, anna informed me of the basketball game this evening.
i wonder if it was out her own accord or the ppl dere didn't know i was being asked.
it's like a totally different thing, you-know? between the two i mentioned above.
but i couldn't go. I have already decided to go to AMK Hub. with my family.
if i hadn't, i would definitely join. no matter how bad my basketball skills actually are.
but hey. i promised to go the next time. and i hope you'll see me present the next time.

anyway, there are many people currently overseas now.

like:
yingxuan
weiyang
joel ng
andrea?
jie ying
but im not sure if im correct anyway.haha :D

bye.val

2007-11-30T04:39:00.000-08:00

nice to blog again.
today was like the same again.

definition of the same:
in the same manner,
in an identical or similar way

what can we do nowadays?
i nvr wanted the holidays to
come as fast as it would be.
and now, it is currently; the holidays.
haven't been talking to friends recently.

but i was chatting to yingxuan
on the phone in the afternoons.
i would say tt we didn't have much of a topic.
i didn't know what was going on these days.
my friends? teachers? whatever it may be.
i suddenly got the feeling that we would NEVER keep in touch.
and i think this is real. real.real. i dont even know if we would ever go out 2gether.

for outings
why didnt you inform me about it?
did you even think of informing me?
do you even want to keep in touch with me at all?
or maybe. to say it simple.
did you even thought of me when you planned this outing?
i've been thinking about tt. loads.loads.loads.

i really want to be a part of you all.
like you all being a part of me. it's that simple.

val.

2007-11-23T03:40:00.000-08:00

HEY
school has end.alrd.
thinkin' abt the past le.
scanned thrg my tagboard.
saw loads of stuff.felt touched.
loads of frends tagged.encouraged.
so.i want to thank them ALL now! (:

ty fer tagging:
joelng!
desiree!
eden!
monk!
yiern!
anna!
wy!
cherie!
rebekah!

ty fer encouragement:
JEAN!
passerby!
minyi!
ellen!
sean!
ben!
ayx!
harriel!
meanie!
nikki!
wendy!
ashley!

and many mor..
sorry if i missed out anybody.
anyway, i wont forget you all.
include those not mentioned here.
we'll meet up together one day (:

2007-11-18T08:38:00.000-08:00

2007-11-18T08:04:00.000-08:00

reply to ben :D
i'll list them all since
i've got nothin' to do right now.
[Not all written on last day of school.
These are the teachers tt have written in my book]

Teachers:
-MrsIvyLee
-Linlaoshi
-MdmLing
-MsEllenAng
-MdmSusanWu
-MrPeterLoh
-MrsRachelleToh
-MdmTan
-MrTan
-Chenlaoshi
(taught in pr4)
-MrsElan
-MdmLim
-MsTeo
-Hwanglaoshi
(taught in pr1 or2)
-Chenlaoshi
(taught in pr1 or2)
-Ms Dawn Ling
-HwangJunlaoshi
-MrLee(track)
-MrsGinaAng
-MsValerieMoh
-MsLoh
-MrGregoryPeck
-MrChoy
-MrsNgJinAi
-PeacherWilly

The1st three teachers did not
write on the last day of school.

2007-11-16T02:40:00.000-08:00

Why not?
By Hilary Duff.

You think your goin no where
When your walking down the street
actin like you just don't care
When life could be so sweet
Why you wanna be like that
as if theres notin new
your not foolin no one
your not even foolin you

So walk a little slower
And open up your eyes
Sometimes it's so hard to see
The good things passing by

There might never be a sign
No flashing neon lights
Telling you to make your move
Or when the time is right
(SO)

Chorus

Why not(why not)
Take a crazy chance
Why not(why not)
Do a crazy dance
If you lose a moment
You might lose a lot
So why not
Why not

Why not
Take a crazy chance
Why not
Take a crazy chance

You always dress in yellow
When you wanna dress in gold
Instead of listening to your heart
You do just what you're told
You keep waiting where you are
For what you'll never know
Let's just get into your car
And go baby go
(SO)

Chorus

OhI could be the one for you
Oh, yeah
Maybe yes, maybe noOooohh
It could be the thing to do
What I'm saying is
You gotta let me know oo

Bridge

You'll never go to heaven
Or even to L.A.
If you don't believe there's a wayeee....

Why not
Take a star from the sky
Why not
Spread your wings and fly
It might take a little
And it might take a lot
But why not
Why not

Chorus

note: this song means a lot to me.
i just love the lyrics. just do want you want to do.
dont care about what the results may actually be.
i totally agree with it. cause i've done sth.
that i dont know if i should. but after listening
to this song yesterday. im feelin' much better inside.
cause i should just do something crazy when i want to.

2007-11-16T02:12:00.000-08:00

today
i went to mayfair park
with andrea, jean and yx.
that made me a lil' better.
with coach and all my fellow
juniors around made me want to smile.
they brighten up my life.
because they are a part of me.
when i see them smiling so happily.
i feel really great.
its like something good happening.
though you may think that this is sth very small.
but i never felt like tt.
cause they are my "siblings" (:
haha.

we stayed there till 12plus. longlong-
cause after the track ppl went back to school,
we stayed back to take photographs.
The imaginary house. Our house.
You wont understand anyway.
Then we left the park and returned back to school.
Went back to search for my autograph book.
And i found it on Mr Tan's table.
I left it there. accidentally.
Cause i put sth on his table. for him.
And he wrote a msg for me there.
I thought i would give it to him face-to-face.
But bcos of my accidental mistake.
He wrote inside for me. haha.
YingXuan and me laughed like crazy.
And he put 5 seaweeds inside.
Actually, i dont know if they were for me.
But i think it was. So i took them.
Then we went to find teachers
to write in our autograph book.
Loads of teachers wrote in our books.
At least got 10. haha.
Teachers that taught me in primary1/2 and blah.
and some that dont actually know me. like Mr Choy.
and we stayed in school until around 2pm.
Found out that some teachers would not
be teaching in Peihwa next year too.
*sobs*
Then we left.
And saw Genevieve.
With her mom and sis.
Such a coincidence. Whoa!
And then bade goodbye
with Gen and Yingxuan.
And i returned home.

2007-11-16T02:06:00.000-08:00

I always that i that i would cry
on the last day of school.

today
I tried to cry.
But no tears came
running down my cheeks.
Right now, i dont know what im feelin'
its that sad, fear or what?
whenever i feel like crying,
no tears would be shed.
i dont know why but its like that.
i cant control it.
i dont know why either.
and it makes me worse.
by crying it would actually reduce the pain inside.
now. i dont cry when i wish i would.
and it adds up the pain to my heart.
that pain. you understand how i feel?
i thought everyone would stay back aft school.
and hope that time would slow down a lil'
but maybe i was wrong. really wrong.

2007-11-15T00:59:00.000-08:00

school is abt to end soon.
sigh. im feeling so sad.
can we meet up one day.
to go out together?
with everybody; boys and girls.
; PLEASE

im feelin' very funny inside now.
life goes on but im scared tt
i'd be stuck in the past.
will i lose contact with them.
will they not say hi to me when
we meet on the roads?
i dontknow.

recently im feelin' so fedup.
over my smses with ppl.
they dont reply at all.
and it makes me frustrated.
cause i want to know answers to my questions.
if you said a no, that would be better than you say nothing.
just answer, will you? is tt so difficult?
i'll end here. i dont want to continue.

val.

2007-11-04T03:06:00.001-08:00

hello.
today's a fine day.
i cannot be sad or unhappy.
cause it's a special day.
Kor. Happy Birthday! <3
i wont dare to say it to you.
so i hope tt you will see this by surprise.
this is for you, kor. haha(:

anyway,
i can't say im not happy today.
though it's kor's birthday.
i've gotten a present.
[maybe not classified under present]
perhaps, im using my own money.lols
my parents bought me a camera.
but.i dont think it's the type you're thinking abt now.
mine has a big lense. i dont know if it's called lense.
whatever ;my english isn't good anyway.
i really hope tomorrow would be a great day.
i'll get to play games again.
we would be going to S.A.M too.
and i oso hope i'll finish my mission(s).
anyway, hey ppl. please tag more.
then i'll post more too.
okay?

bye.val

2007-11-02T01:10:00.000-07:00

whoa.
today was actually
sort of a fine day.
but..
i saw many things
on other ppl's blogs.
just a few seconds ago.
i'm feeling a lil' sad now.
waaa. why spoil my mood?
i saw posts of _____.
[not to mention names]
the donald duck poster
is said to be ugly.
hey, wait. not only ugly.
but instead. very ugly.
so sad. i made it k?
hello. i said I MADE IT!
wahlao. is it so ugly?
everybody seems to
be commenting on it.
bad comments.
how do think
i would be feeling?
huh? great is it?
what's your prob.
can't you just keep you toopid-. mouth shut.
sorry. but i'm really... nvm.
i dont want to tok abt liao.
anyway, pls note
*this people tt i'm toking abt are not from my class.
so ch6 people-you're safe.

2007-10-31T01:30:00.000-07:00

hey.
today we went
for an excursion.
to the mosque to know
more abt the religion.
it was not bad though.
esp. when we've a nice
guide to guide us.
she was hilarious.
[the words she use]

but aft we came back.
it wasn't so good anymor.
i wanted to join
a game of UNO.
but the reply was
like..omg.
"we're playing UNO eh."
hey, i know that okay?
what wrong wif playing UNO?
so.i left them alone.
she doesn't want me to join.
i've got that feeling.
but what can i do?
disturb their game
OR what?
nevermind.
just to tell you'll.
she wasn't once like that.
why did she change so much.
bcause of...

bye.val

2007-10-30T05:10:00.000-07:00

things to know to keep yourself happy:

1) everyday before you sleep,
tell yourself that tomorrow would be better.

2) endure always,
unless you can no longer endure.

3) ...i don't know

maybe you shuldn't follow my "tips".
i'm not always happy too.
you may say that everyone'd
be a little unhappy at times.
you can't avoid it but...
i'm pessimistic.
anyway,
it wasn't very good today.
we spoilt the game
do you have to be so direct?
or perhaps dont say it.
it's hurting you know?
it's so mean and ...
we feel so extra and
no ones seems to want to be with us.
play with us or whatsoever.
it's like we are thick-skinned
and we are very stubborn,
not wanting to leave the game.
why do you have to say those hurting words?
why can't you just keep them in your heart?
why can't you just shutup?
and that's it.
it's long over but i'm still thinking of it.
cause i can still remember the pain when you said that.
maybe i'll be fine by tomorrow.
i'll never know.
bye.val

2007-10-29T06:16:00.000-07:00

BLAH BLAH BLAH.

i really dont know
what to write today.
damn it.
it's just a norm day.
you and me.
played loads of
norm UNO today.
yea GREAT!
we played the scary deal.
though.
the loser would be
_____ 's lover <3.
it's not fun.okay?
it's like so scary
if you're left wif many cards
in your hand. *sweats*
and the guys screaming away.
YIKES!
i can't say it's a perfect day.
but it's not a wonderful day.
either.
; i dont know what i'm saying.

bye.val

2007-10-27T00:24:00.000-07:00

sometimes,
i feel that it's alright to be EMO.
everyone is EMO.
but at a different place.
and at a different time.

you may say that my posts are EMO.
but this is my way of expressing myself.
because my blog is like my public diary.
i'm not afraid to tell anyone else
what i actually feel inside my heart.
or anything that i feel like writing.
andi dont need to choose the dates i want to post.
or the time i want to post.
it's just my mood. you know?
it's like natural.
blog's not something
that i have to write in it everyday.
you can read and perhaps,
understand what i'm feeling right then.
but please no comments.
keep these comments in your heart.
dont say them out.

dont say blogs are dead.
the bloggers have the right to decide when to post.
please. mind your manners.
we dont feel like posting and that's it.
we might be busy at work
or it's our mood that decides.
you understand?
stop saying that blogs are dead.
you're irritating and frustrating.you know?
i hate it when i see these words
YOUR BLOG'S DEAD.

2007-10-26T08:22:00.000-07:00

It's so late now ;11.37pm
But I just can't get to sleep.
OR maybe I don't want to be asleep.
What happened today?

Read a little.
Watched a LOT though
; sanguoyanyi & Holes.

BUT
I dont want to be EMO today.
I want to be a normal girl.
who's abt to sleep soon.
like everyone else.

I dont want
primary school days to end.
NEVEReverend.
will that ever happen.

; i'll miss you guys<3

2007-10-22T07:36:00.000-07:00

sorry.
back 2 my EMO side again.

sometimes I feel so sad.
why am I treated differently from her?
I want to know the reason. i dont.
why? why? WHY?
I feel like I'm not worth a single cent.
Having the urge to shed tears for you.
What the heck are you?
To be able to control my mind, thoughts and everything in my world.
What are you?
I dont even know what is happening now.
I dont even know what i'm doing now.
so, shut up!
and keep away from me.

leave me alone.
dont touch me.
i've already tried my very best
to keep a safe distance from you.
but why,
when i do so
you come closer and closer towards me.
when i decide that i shuldn't not care abt you.
you leave me there.
lost.
alone.
myself.

and i see you looking at her.
i'm SOconfused.
i'm SOsad.
;but what can I do?

2007-10-22T01:02:00.000-07:00

It has been a long time that
i've been writing in a EMO
and short+sweet way.
Oh gosh!

but today'd be different.
i can tell you that today was FUN, man.
love it.

Played murderer.
like throughout the whole day.
geez. nice man.
Played with loads of people 2.
both the guys and the girls.
, abt 18 people. fun} <3

; you nvr know how fun it was.
val

heyhey.
shuld continue 2moro.
haha. bye(:

2007-10-15T07:00:00.000-07:00

The song's lyrics are really meaningful.
Take time reading through them.
lol. enjoy!

Corrinne May
Five loaves and two fishes

A little boy of thirteen
was on his way to school
He heard a crowd of people laughing
and he went to take a look

Thousands were listening
to the stories of one man
He spoke with such wisdom,
even the kids could understand
The hours passed so quickly
the day turned to night

Everyone was hungry
but there was no food in sight
The boy looked in his lunchbox
at the little that he had
He wasn't sure what good it'd do

there were thousands to be fed
But he saw the twinkling eyes of Jesus
the kindness in His smile
and the boy cried out
with the trust of a child

He said:"Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
to feed them all"

I often think about that boy
when I'm feeling small
and I worry that the work I do
means nothing at all
But every single tear I cry
is a diamond in His hands
and every door that slams in my face
I will offer up in prayer

So I'll give you every breath that I have
Oh Lord, you can work miracles
All that you need is my "Amen"

Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you willI surrender
Take my fears and inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
I hope it's not too small

I trust in you
I trust in you

Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender

Take my fears and inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions

You can use it all
no gift is too small

2007-10-12T05:37:00.000-07:00

you aren't much better.
you this ugly idiot moron.
those who like you have bad taste

2007-10-12T05:28:00.000-07:00

hate ppl who tok behind other ppl's back.
they are terrible and incorrigible.
always think that they are perfect.
they shuld check out the mirror
and see how good they look like.
they'll puke. i'll spit. everyone'll run away.

shit them.
dare to insult ppl
when they aren't any better.
damn it
you, this idiot.
hate you.

2007-10-11T05:06:00.000-07:00

sometimes i feel so invisible.
so difficult to be seen.
so difficult to be touched upon.
i wonder if i'm just a shadow.
that's following someone blindly.
dark.not in sight.nobody sees me at all.
not even my friends.

2007-10-10T06:00:00.000-07:00

face the truth, kid.
dont act like a child.
you'll soon no longer be one.

2007-10-10T01:47:00.000-07:00

ello.
PSLE's over.
time flies like a blink of an eye.
soon it'll be time to bade goodbye.
we have never wished or hoped
for that day to arrive.
but...it still would.
many wonderful memories
shared between you and me.
will always be saved in our hearts
till the day we choose to delete them away.
now, i'm twelve.
still a kid, a child.
two more months.
i'll longer be one.
we'll all be youths.
being committed to many words and their definitions,
what would our mind contain of anything else?
our stress, friendship, formulas, literature stories, kinship...
childhood memories would be pushed to the back.
i've never thought of what would happen
to me when i grow older.
what would life be?
how would everything go?
would we all lose contact with each other?
i'll never know.
till that day comes.
i've never wanted to know all these i've mentioned.
dread and frustration,
confusion and annoyance.
but as the days pass one by one.
i've no choice but to think about all these.
no matter how much i forced not to.
now, i would really want to know:
would we still be the same again?

2007-09-13T02:32:00.000-07:00

Schooling
for a Primary Sixer..
is not bad.
We have grown a little more emotionally
and we can communicate well wif others of the same age
eg. homework, tv shows, com games, sms wif hps
but we are oso stress at the same time too.
PSLE!
and after this important exam,
time to bade goodbye.
goodbye to my fr3nds who have been wif me for such a long time.
or some that have been wif me for only this year.
sharing happy and wonderful memories wif me.
giving me support and encouragement always.
thanks!
no matter where we go (diff schools),
we'll always be fr3nds,
no matter how many sentences i have actually spoken to you,
i'll always remember you.
no matter what happens..

with love,
valerie <3

to: all whom i care for;
boys, girls,teachers,
juniors,seniors
or whatever.
charity6!

2007-08-21T23:35:00.000-07:00

Journey
表演者：张韶涵 ( Angela Chang )

作曲：Corrinne May 填词：Corrinne May 编曲：陈飞午

It's a long long journey
Till I know where I'm supposed to be
It's a long long journey
And I don't know if I can believe

When shadows fall and block my eyes
I am lost and know that I must hide
It's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you

Many days I've spent
Drifting on through empty shores
Wondering what's my purpose
Wondering how to make me strong

I know I will falter I know I will cry
I know you'll be standing by my side
It's a long long journey
And I need to be close to you

"Sometimes it feels no one understands
I don't even know whyI do the things I do
When pride builds me up
till I can't see my soul
Will you break down these walls
and pull me through"

Cause it's a long long journey
Till I feel that I am worth the price
You paid for me on calvary
Beneath those stormy skies

When Satan mocks and friends turn to foes
It feels like everything is out
to make me lose control
Cause it's a long long journey
Till I find my way home to you..

2007-08-16T05:29:00.000-07:00

HEART-BREAKS

times are difficult
for me.
for you.

be direct.
&
end it once and for all.

dont gimme that smile.
i HATE it.
it gives me false hope.

leave me alone.
i'll listen to my music
&
cry on my own.
leave me alone.
dont care 'bout me.
if you dont love me.

i want to be alone.
in a world of my own.

leave me alone..

2007-08-16T05:08:00.000-07:00

ello.
does the world love me?
the question i always ask myself.
my family does, my fr3nds? i dont know..
who loves me?
who can tell me my answer?